different

so many things are different than I thought they would be.

I just got finished looking through the Swain's latest family album. The Swains are the team leaders of the team in Santiago de Compostela, Spain. And I feel sad and happy, which is just a little confusing.

Sad, that I am not enjoying Spain with them, and starting my life over there, but happy that I've had the chance to know and love them. They fast became a part of my heart.

My life is just different now that I planned or expected it to be. Different. Not bad or good because of that. I am amazed at how inadequate my plans for my life are and how little I really understand about the ways of God. Because of the process of preparing for Spain, and leaving Kansas City, my heart has been open to God in ways I've never had before, and I am learning to walk by faith and not by sight. Believe that the Lord is good, having faith and confidence in Him and His way in my life, and not choosing to fear because of what I can and cannot see.

So, I don't know what these next few months will hold, let alone these next few weeks. It'll probably be different than I expected.