Being a kid again.

When I was growing up, my favorite thing to do was walk 4 blocks to this park that had a creek through it. I would hike down into that creek and go for what felt like miles, jumping from rock to rock, catching crawdads, sliding down muddy slopes on my butt. It was my one place that I felt really free. It was my own little world I would escape into, playing the same stories out in my mind. Imagining friends to play with me. I wouldn't let anyone go with me. It was my sacred ground. I was always annoyed if one of my younger siblings wanted to come along, because that was MY place.

I found myself climbing through brush, hands and knees dirty with mud as I seached for a place to cross the river yesterday. Chloe, 7, and Briar Hanlon, 9, led the way as we made it through our jungle crossing the dangerous river where we found only traces of anyone else finding our sacred space. We helped each other get through tight spots, crossed a slipery log by working together, and made it out alive.

I had looked forward to this time all day. Through the hours of classes and homework.. Finally.

There were not many places in my childhood that I felt free to just be a kid. I was the responsible older sister. Growing up happened fast.
So thank GOD for the sacred spaces in our lives. The places we feel safe to be ourselves. He was present with me in my childhood, and I am revisiting it again.

My gospel is too weak.

We've spent several hours this last week talking about Islam and Hindu belief systems and worldviews, and how to share the one true God with these people. I have felt increasingly overwhelmed by how weak I've made the Gospel. As I went into the Hindu temple I kept praying the blood of Jesus over myself, and in doing so realized how powerful that is.

I walked into a temple, fully aware of the demons festering in that place, disgusted by the idolatry, and yet at peace in my heart because "NO weapon formed against me will prosper", and "at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow, and every tongue confess in heaven and on earth, that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

What is this so called "Good News" that I am "going into all the earth to preach and baptize" in? That there is hope, because Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, came and through His death had VICTORY over death and the powers of Hell, and now we may walk in right relationship to the Father, through the Holy Spirit.

This is powerful...
I've just enjoyed Jesus, the Sidekick.

What a great birthday!

I had such a great birthday yesterday!

I had been recieving cards all week, and then I got TWO packages in the mail, as well as a room full of balloons and a birthday crown. So many special things for me.

I felt so loved, noticed and appreciated on this day of mine. I'm excited about what a new year might hold. This last year has contained more than I ever thought possible.

ESFJ

What does those letters mean??? It's not the state of my brain after hours of sitting in class. No, actually, it's a class that I'm actually incredibly facinated with. As MITs (missionaries in training), we completed the Meyers-Briggs test, to help identify our personality and some of it facets, and therefore seeing how we would inherently perceive a situation and ourselves in it.

This kind of thing absolutely facinates me. I love seeing who I am and who everyone else is and it brings so much light to a situation and group!!

So, I am an ENFJ, which means:

[E]xtrovet
[S]ensing
[F]eeling
[J]udging

Some of what that means about me is that I get energy from being around people. My feelings in a situation are the guide for my decision-making. I like to deal with the acutal, concrete situations, and I trust my experiences. I like to get things done, and follow a plan better than just letting things happen.

Which makes me understand the way that I blog even, because I want you, as a reader to feel connected to me and what I'm experiencing. Huh..

Sunday morning

It's a beautiful Sunday morning here in Elgin, IL.

I work up early thinking about all that I'm going to be doing today.

I am going to a second generation Korean Church called Harvest Community Church that Matt and Lori Swain, my teammates, attended when they lived here. After church Alex and I are going to stop by IKEA to get some candles for our apartment to make it feel more homey, and pick up Alex's beloved Special K Vanilla Almond cereal. Later this afternoon, I am going to go meet Nate and Faith Walter, another family on the road to Santiago. That should be fun! Then this evening all the MITs (Missionaries in training) will be BBQing. Fun!

On another note, I just checked my financial report and because of one time gifts, my training expenses are all paid for! And I have $600 towards the $4,000 needed to make the big move!!! How exciting!

What do I know?

I feel so unprepared for what I am about to do.

I am aware of my arrogance as an American, and my spiritual pride.

I've thanked God for the places that He's brought me through these last years, and how He's prepared me for Spain, but I still have such a long way to go.

I am so self-centered, and my worldview is too small.

God Help Me!

Please write me..

My birthday is next Friday, and I would love to get some mail, or presents. I just like getting mail in general. I check my box every day to see if I've gotten anything, but so far, nothing.


So here's my address!

Lauren Pugh
411 W River Rd.
Elgin, IL 60123

September 22 is my birthday..

I LOVE THIS PLACE!

I arrived in Elgin, IL, around 5:15p last night. My mom and dear friend, Linnea, helped me make the trip and made the good-by-ing process a little easier. Thank you God!

After a tearful good-bye to Linnea, my mom and I headed off to IKEA, one my favorite places in the US, and now one of her favorites as well. We ate a good Sweedish meal and shopped for things I have no business buying and that she didn't have much room in her suitcase for.

This morning my mom and I went into Chicago to play for the day until her flight. I love taking the "El" and walking for blocks and blocks, and I love many different people you see walking through the streets.

And my new roommates... so fun! Alex, Jamie, Mary, Lindsey, Renee, and Ayla. They are all going to be so fun to get to know! I already like them. We talked tonight about food for this next week, my favorite subject and an area where I shine. So we made up a great menu where everyone is getting to cook, and I'll teach everyone some new recipes.

So, here I am, in Elgin, IL, my home is no longer Kansas City, the road before me is WIDE open, and my heart is present and full.

my throat hurts.

All this crying is really taking it out of me.

There are SO MANY people that I care so much about. It is so sad to say good-bye.

Some that I will hopefully see again, but all will be different. Marriage, kids, new homes, different experiences. It all changes us.

So I am saying good-bye to the way that I've known people thus far in life. And welcoming in the new....

well, maybe not really ready to welcome it, but I'm aware that it's coming.

Oh the grief...

I walked out of Jim and Amy Bailey's last night crying.
and got in the car and cried some more.
and drove and cried.
and feel on my bed when I got home and cried again..
and now sit at the library and cry as I write about my tears.

cry cry cry.

This grief comes in waves. and I know it is just the beginning.

I have loved deeply during my time here, and will grieve deeply as I leave.