on the road...

One thing I've learned so far...

Life is a journey. Oh, how I wish sometimes that I could just ARRIVE. But each little part of the road is necessary to reach the destination. I am thankful for the road God has taken me on so far. Training has been a wonderful time to get tools to help us as we enter into our new areas of ministry and enjoy new friendship with other missionaries. God has exposed my heart again, and I need His transforming way in my heart and life.

Often I've tried to map out this "journey" of my life. I would get an idea and begin to try and try and try to make it happen. Often met with dissappointment and fustration, I would give up, and wrestle with God about His goodness and love. Always, in His way, He would bring around the things my heart had desired, and give them to me in the most creative of ways and really much more deeply fulfilling. If I could only trust God to begin with. It would save me the fustration. Gosh.

Even now, my biggest struggles are with trying to anticipate the future and not taking care of my responsibilites or myself, here and now. Not that I want to be self-centered. I want to be at peace with the place God has called me for this day and let Him lead me into the days ahead. right now - I suck at this!

So, I'm on this road towards Santiago. I wanted it to be quick and easy, to just arrive and be the wonderful person I am. Wooing people through my smile towards Jesus, or was it towards myself? Either way, God is way concerned with the state of my heart. And, I have given Him access to it, several times over, and what I am finding is that HE wants to be central in my life, heart, desires, and emotions. He wants all my trust to be in Him and His power. And all my confidence found in Him and His love, and my deepest fulfillment to come from His tender and loving care.

I make things so difficult on myself.